Refusing to even try to accept your child should be considered child abuse.  Any parent that goes around trying to "fix" their kids sexuality, gender, or anything else really shouldn't be a parent.  I'ms ure plenty will disagree about this, especially hte more religious, but who you were born to was a random accident.  I know the biology of it isn't, but if a person isn't willing to consider that their genes or whatever controls this stuff contributed to someone who's gay, trans, bi, whatever- maybe we should reconsider letting them be the ones to raise the child.

fibroids

So, I don't know for sure, but I've got a feeling I might have fibroids.  Or at least that something's wrong down there. Fibroids would make sense, though.  I don't know what 'heavy flow' is, don't pay attention, but some of hte other symptoms I have and it'd explain why my periods went from pain free to excruciating in just a few years.  And if not, well, it might turn out to be something else while I'm finding out.

The problem is... I don't want to find out.  I'd have to go to the gynecologist, have them poke around inside me, and possibly go through several other procedures involving things being inside my uterus.  I don't want to go through that.  and then it's probably expensive, who knows what the cost of fixing it would be, and dad's insurance is wonky.  I don't know, I just don't feel like I can deal with this right now.  (3 counselor's have told me I worry too much over my parents' finances, so, that's not helping.)

And who'm I supposed to ask?  I don't want to ask either parent.  It's just weird talking about girl problems with your dad, and mom can be weird when it comes to medical junk.  I had a cyst and she told me to put heat on it, which turned out to be the worst thing you could do.

Y'all are idiots, even thee.

Why do people waste so much time trying to find a PC gender neutral pronoun, when 2nd person singular would be so much more useful for the entire population?

Also: If no one gets insulted being called one plural pronoun (you), they shouldn't bitch about one more (they).

the AP Exam strikes back

Today I had to take the Calculus AP. 4 sections, about 45-55 minutes each. Should've taken 3 hours 15 minutes, I'd be out by 11:30 to have a nice, leisurely hour and a half for lunch and recuperation before my German quiz- right? WRONG! Somehow it managed to go over so it took more than 4.5 hours. Guh. If they'd let me sit down, take it, and leave- I probably would've been out by 10:45. But instead they had to elongate it, meaning I got back to my room 10 minutes before class, said "fuck this" and spent the next hour and a half drawing (I missed the airbrush tool). Eh, I've never skipped a class before- and this was an emergency.


Also- my exam attacked me. I'm not joking. I opened the page to one of the free responses and it stabbed me with a staple. This sucker didn't really go deep, thankfully (it'd've pierce straight through my finger!), but it went long. So I spent the exam writing, wincing, and fretting that it might get infected and the nurse closes before we got out. Not a happy day.

So- to whoever grades my exam, please be careful. That stapler's wily and it's got a taste for human blood.

Only after one thing

I should never have picked up a Clockwork Orange today.  Not this close to exams... Anyways, {spoiler}I just got to the part where Alex raped those two 10 yo.  10.  He's only 15, I know, but still.  That's a bit pathetic.{/spoiler}  And I know that not all guys would do something so horrible, logically I know he's psycho and an exception.  But there's this annoying little bit of my brain that's not so sure.  I pretty much had to stop right there and evaluate.  I'm nowhere near feminist enough to think all men are scum.  

So, I traced it back.  I had a "boyfriend".  Y'know how toddlers will constantly ask you for something until you say yes?  He did that.  He also stole my dragon hoodie, ignored me after he moved only to say henever cared about me, bad talked me on his blog and to my friends after I dumped him, and in general was a freaking matyr-complex of an idiot.  

He's not the problem.  I mean, he kind of coerced/forced me to do stuff, but whatever.  I'm really at the point of asexuality where that stuff doesn't matter.  I was just thrown that he'd want to and was like "um... okay then."  The problem was everyone else.  My friends didn't know him, but they assumed he was great.  They kept making excuses for him, and one actually yelled at me because I told him I'd never want to have sex (no boy would want a girl like that!).  

Overall the feel I got was that people expect boys to do that.  They expect them to be oversexual, selfish, ignorant of the feelings of other, and therefore allowed to get away with it.  Yeah, maybe they didn't know the whole story, but I did.  I was there.   And the logic center of my brain got shunted aside in favor of "Guys are expected to treat people like this"

so... dunno.  But I might be able to blame this on my near unwillingness to try and be masculine.  I don't want to be like that, or to have people assume I am.