homophobe

Homophobia is one thing I don't understand.  Not the thing itself, but the things that get called homophobic.  "I'm not gay, please don't call me that" makes you a homophobe.  No, really, it does.  I once complained that wearing a rainbow got you called gay and got cursed out for being unsupportive of gays.  I was annoyed how people (who almost always seem to be straight and near-homophobes themselves) call you gay out of ignorance, and had explained that.  How is that homophobic?  Oh, right, because I had the gall to say I wasn't something and in saying that am clearly making my feelings known in that I AM NOT GAY means GAYS ARE BAD.  Because if you're not something, you have to be against it.

And, if you're wondering, my "out of ignorance" reasons?  As it turns out, you're gay if you:  

1. Like rainbows (personally, I think they shouldn't be a symbol of anything.  If they must, make it ALL diversity, not just gay/lesbian.)
2. Are asexual ("Are you sure you aren't just gay and ashamed?")
3. Are transsexual ("Are you sure you aren't just making it easier on yourself?"  It applies more if you came out as gay first, but if you like the same-gender/are bisexual it still can)
4. At all act like the opposite sex.  
   
5. Hug a member of the same sex.  (girls do that all the time!  what about me is so dagg lesbian?!  I'm not even attracted to girls)
   

I'm sure I'm missing some.  

Also, the term.  "homophobia".  phobia=fear.  But it isn't used as in "afraid of gays" but "hatred of gays".   Do we just have a shortness of suffixes or something?  Why couldn't we at least come up with one that's accurate?  You can hate something without fearing it, and fear it without hating it.  (ex- I love spiders, they're fascinating, do not put me in the same room as one 'cuz I'm a total arachnophobe)