Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Gender Bender

(yes, as you may've noticed, i tend to babble and put about 5 posts a day.  This'll peter out to one a month, then go back to this.  I am a sine wave in the world of blogging.)

I'm a tad gender-blind.  I tend to have a harder time reading genders.  I don't think I actually realized that boys don't wear skirts until I got to kindergarten.  (I still think something incredibly pivotal happened that year and I have NO IDEA WHAT)  And even now, when I wear skirts, it's got nothing to do with dressing like a girl.  I just like skirts, they're fun, and they don't show your figure as much (at least not the ones I wear).    I only wear them where it's okay for guys to wear them, too, so you don't get called a girl for it.  Like on halloween or at cons.  

So, because of this, I don't always have the best grasp on who does waht.  And anything I did as a kid that seems girly I notice and amplify as "gah, I'm such a girl" and anything I did that isn't girly or is boyish I dismiss as "everyone did that". 

It's not like I'm worried I'm not a boy, I know what I am.  But transitioning when you can't convince a therapist you are?  Or when you feel like even other transgenderists won't take you seriously?  That seems like it'd be hard.

8 comments:

Yew Berry Castle said...

I think that most people try to be on their "best gender behaviour" when they go for their thearpy sessions. It would be a shame however if one was to jump from one gender box into another. It's funny that if a cis-women swears or drinks beer it's just considered that she's availing of monre freedom in society as regards gender norms. However if a woman with a trans past does those things it's felt that she is failing in being a "woman", whatever that means. Likewise, to be a man, a transguy doesn't have to, and shouldn't feel pressured to like sports.

When you transition, don't give up the things you like now about being a girl. Hopefully I won't sacrifice the male things I like either.

Ry said...

Yeah, that was pretty much the plan. Act like a good little boy.

It's ridiculous how that works, though. If a guy acts too girly, sure, he might get teased- but it doesn't make him less of a guy. Then with us we have to be all masculine or all feminine, at least at first, so no one gets the wrong idea. -_-

Makes you realize while people choose to go stealth. If nobody knows you're trans, nobody analyzes you and tells you that you aren't acting like a boy or girl, they just accept that you're weird.

Yew Berry Castle said...

"Makes you realize while people choose to go stealth"

True but I think that I'll still won't go stealth. Hell, I don't have to shout about my past but at the same time I won't hide it from people with whom I feel comfortable. That way it would avoid the constant "paranoid feeling".

Ry said...

I'm one of those people who would forget until it came up. I'd be chattering about something and someone would stop me and go "wait, why were you at an all-girl camp?" and I'd be "Oh, yeah, that's not common knowledge, is it?". And then I'd forget I was stealth.

But, yeah, the paranoia would definitely be badh. Have you seen Transamerican Love Story? One of the guys is TG, and got so worked up that the others would find out and give him trouble, that he cut himself off from them and they gave him trouble for that.

Yew Berry Castle said...

Nope. I haven't heard of Transamerican Love Story but I will watch it if I can find it online for free. I guess I can see it on logoonline....

Ry said...

I haven't seen all of it, it was too slow to load on Logo and I've only got so much tolerance for reality TV, so I'm not sure how good it is. I just saw a clip where James was getting a bit freaked about how the other guys were acting towards him. I htink clip 4 of episode 1.

Yew Berry Castle said...

I watched all of it last night. I must say that while it was complete rubbish it was funny. Saying that I probbaly wouldn't watch it if it wasn't for the trans aspect. I am not a great fan of "reality" TV.

Ry said...

Yeah, it seemed like that. Even if it does focus on trans, it's still some girl choosing a boyfriend from a selection that was picked for ratings. 9_9 Only so much you can do with that.